Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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