how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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