oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
