I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
