i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
she pinky promised me she was 18
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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