If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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