Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
