Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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