yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
