I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
