Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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