Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
