Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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