i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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