i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
It's blow job season.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
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