I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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