You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
