I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
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She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
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It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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