Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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