she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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