I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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