just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize