I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize