no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
