you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
