Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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