Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
