remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
