There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
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