So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
