I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
