I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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