Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
