i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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