Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
