I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
