You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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