she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
