By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize