dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize