the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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