ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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