I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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