i just wanna soil my oats bro
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
