Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
one two three fourrrrnication!
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
