um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
