That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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