I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize