Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Randomize
