I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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