i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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