Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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