im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
