You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
