On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
