dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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