I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize