my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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