My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Randomize
