So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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