I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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