why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize